Growing in God

I know I have been a few months since my last post, but there has been a lot going on in my life.  For starters, I graduated from college with my B.A. in History.  Secondly, I got married to the man of my dreams, and we moved from Kansas to California two weeks ago for him to start seminary at The Master’s Seminary in August. I am choosing to write about these past few months, because throughout the time leading up to our move I have learned a few lessons on this journey through God’s provision.

At the beginning of this journey, Tim filled out the application, and it took forever for us to hear back from the seminary. The application was sent out February 21st bright and early.  We did not hear back from the seminary until April 15th when we got the acceptance letter. In that time, we were waiting on Tim’s references to fill out questionnaires to ensure the selection committee of Tim’s integrity in the realms of work, personal life, and Christian faith.  When we didn’t hear back by March 20th I was convinced that seminary was just not for us. In fact, I was sure that we had heard nothing back from The Master’s Seminary because of my background in an abusive relationship with my ex-stepfather. Despite reassurance from my Dad, Tim, and other members of my family that a seminary would not censor with a bias against those who come from abusive backgrounds.  But I was still convinced that my past was what was keeping us from even hearing back from them. When Tim called to let me know that he/we had been accepted, I broke down in tears of joy. But I was still in shock that we were supposed to go until I had seen the acceptance letter myself.
Lesson one and two of this: God doesn’t hold a grudge just because my past is darkened by the actions of others. And it also doesn’t mean I am the un-doer of all good things (Matthew 26:26-28, Luke 44-49).  I remind myself a little bit of Paul after his conversion, only I didn’t have to gain the trust of those around me. I had to completely put what little trust I had left in God and allow Him to work, because of my inability to see myself as worthy of His blessings. It was only through His provision that we were welcomed to study under John MacArthur and his colleagues.

Graduation, marriage, and monetary issues are other areas where I had to learn to trust. I guess I could call myself an AA personality. If I could micromanage every nanosecond of not only my day but of everyone else’s, the world would probably seem a little easier for me to cope with. However, micromanagement is not an easy way to live, nor is it something I suggest others try. It is a side effect of wanting to always be right, regardless of the outcome, and of living in an abusive situation. Working on a senior project, planning a wedding, and not having a large disposable income is enough to drive any normal A or B type personality past irreparable insanity.  For me, I was somewhat of a sociopathic bridezilla, and despite the fail safes I had planned to keep myself sane during April and May, I still found myself to be a twitchy, impatient, sick to my stomach, exhausted, fed-up, graduating bride. And then my Dad had a heart to heart conversation with me. Dad lectured me on how being this type of person was not Christ like, and how not putting my trust in the Lord or not giving Him my troubles failed to glorify Him. In neglecting to ask for His help and to ask for it faithfully I did no good for His Kingdom. Dad pretty much asked me if I thought Christ had thrown a hissy fit when He came to earth to be the perfect sacrifice to save us from eternal damnation. Well to be perfectly honest, I thought about it and I couldn’t imagine God stomping His feet, screaming, crying, and making an absolute fool of Himself.

Have this attitude in yourself which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

                                                                               ~Philippians 2:5-11

Lesson three: Christ called us not only to follow Him, but to be like Him. This means having the patience and serenity to gracefully accept the things I can’t change.  Jesus walked quietly to Calvary towards his death (1 Peter 2:22-25) for our salvation . He asked for the Father to forgive those who hung Him on the cross (Luke 23:34). He was as humble, innocent, and perfect as a sacrificial lamb (Genesis 8:21 & Ephesians 5:2), and while we aren’t of divine nature (2 Peter1:4, 1 John 3:2), we too should strive to be like Christ was on earth (Philippians 3:12-16).  Genesis 8:21a and Ephesians 5:2 talk about how the perfect sacrifice was a pleasing aroma to the Lord. In 2 Corinthians 14-17, Paul writes of how Christians also carry this aroma, because whenever we are faithful and are an influence for the Gospel of Christ God is pleased. Also the perpetuation of the Gospel assures that when He comes back to claim us, we will be refined to perfection by our faith (Romans 3:22-24); we will be rewarded because we have strived for moral perfection, righteousness, and have had joy through strife (James 1:2-6, 2 Peter 1:6-9).  I realized that being an AA personality is more of a hindrance than a help. And while I still struggle with wanting to micromanage everything, I have gotten much better about just stepping away from the precipice of drastic measures and letting God’s provisions work in my life, rather than getting angry.

Now we are in California, looking for jobs, getting established, and getting used to Los Angeles traffic. It’s hectic, strange, and not at all like home; and yet God provided for us again. We have a great place to live, and back at home we have a cheering section that is compiled of family, friends, and friends of family. We are renting a 10 x 10 room from a family here in California.  They treat us like their own kids, and have been such an amazing blessing that it’s hard to believe that I ever doubted God’s provision. Yes, I regret not putting my full trust in Him, but even in my prayers when I ask Him to forgive me for doubting, I still know in my heart that He will continue to love, protect, and lead me down the pathway He has chosen for Tim and me. The other day, I was asked how I felt about making such a huge change in my life. I was honest. I said at first I wasn’t too keen on the idea of moving to a new home, starting a new church and job, and I was very nervous about acclimating to California society.  But once I got here, and I met fellow seminary wives, and some of Tim’s fellow seminarians; I knew instantly this is where we are meant to be. This is how I am going to learn to be a helper, and this is going to be a blessing for not only us but for those around us.
I cannot promise to never doubt again, but when it comes time for us to move on to the next thing I can say I will definitely be more open and willing to answer the call. Especially since I know God’s love never fails, and that God never gives up.  Ever.

A few points on knowing God

Psalm 46: God the Refuge of His People
1God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; 3Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. (Selah) 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, The holy dwelling places of the Most High.5 God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. 6 The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted.7The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold.8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, Who has wrought desolations in the earth.9 He makes wars to cease to the ends of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariots with fire.10 “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”11The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold. (Selah)

Cease striving and Know that I am God… CEASE STRIVING and KNOW that I am GOD!
The other day as I was getting ready for my 8 am History class, I was jamming to my tunes and Michael Bublé’s You Don’t Know Me came on. As I sang along with the words, I soon realized that Jesus could apply these words to many believers who claim to know Him. We give our lives to Him, but everyone can tell we think we know Him. He loves us and wants us to really, truly, whole-heartedly know Him. Knowing God is more than just attending church on Sunday. God is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent and it’s very hard for our human minds to conceptualize such an august idea. But knowing God isn’t impossible, in fact knowing God is quite attainable with some dedication and willingness to let him work in your life through the Holy Spirit.

The number one thing we have to remember about God is that He created the whole universe in its entirety, we created nothing, and he is the grand designer. In Him we have a refuge and strength, and consistent help, we cannot fear when he is on our side, because God is the man. Psalm 46 tells us how God cares for his people “if God is for us who can be against us?” Romans 8:31b. and since He cares for his people, we shall never want for anything. CEASE STRIVING and KNOW that I am GOD! Even though we should live lives that are not lacking in any shape or form, we do. Why? Because we simply do not let go of the trivial, humanistic issues we have in our lives. It’s so much easier to just run around with duct tape and crazy glue, trying to keep up appearances and opinions, right? Wrong. I can attest to this first hand… I’ve always seen myself as a helper, first I was going to be a nurse, then a teacher, then a neuro-surgeon, soon after that a college professor and finally after changing my mind umpteen million times and trying to run all over this green orb trying to fix things, did I realize that God is the only one who can fix it. I also had to realize that I have been given the GRACE to watch his majestic, healing, awesome, righteous plan unfurl before me and other believers in that blinding glory which only He can achieve. When I finally let go of all my own personal desires, did my life get going. In a matter of weeks; I met my Fiancé, changed my major, left a less than bright family life, and grew stronger in my faith and willingness to do God’s will. It was and still is amazing. CEASE STRIVING AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD; I WLL BE EXALTED AMONG THE NATIONS. If Verse 10 of Psalm 46 didn’t jump out at you, I’d be surprised. It is the only time throughout the entirety of the Psalm where God actually speaks! What is He telling us here? Why is it here? Well first off if you cannot tell it is a Comfort to his people, and a warning to those who do not believe. If we know God we have nothing to fear, not even fear its self Mr. Roosevelt.

The Second thing we need to know about God… He is victorious. Always! Psalm 47 discusses how God is the King of the earth and how He is victorious. The entire New Testament is how Jesus, fully man and fully God defeated Death, and rose victorious over the grave with the promise that we too shall join Him. I know that I have stressed the last point before, but it is imperative that we understand it! If we do not understand this, knowing God is going to be a real chore. If we go through life just being a good person, staying out of the way, avoiding confrontation, helping those in need but never once giving glory, laud and honor to He who has made us in His image and sent His son as a man to die on a cross so that we might be redeemed from the evil one WE FAIL to know God. Often times, knowing God means we have to change our world views. Now you’re probably saying, well what’s wrong with my world view? There is nothing wrong with how I live my life, which in your opinion is most likely true, but you have to admit life isn’t easy right? And since that is the honest truth, we often have to look at our lives to see what changes need to be made.

Thirdly we must remember while contemplating our lives that God doesn’t Compromise.  He isn’t some real-estate agent you can sit down with and barter a land deal; He isn’t business partner, He DOESN’T WANT ANY EARTHLY KINDGOM FOR YOU! He wants you to give up your fleshly desires and pursue Him openly; He wants you to need Him.  He wants you to be like Paul. Paul, previously known as Saul before he came to Jesus, gave up his zealotry for persecuting the Church and Christians after he was blinded, by a bright light, on the road to Damascus. “And he was there three days without sight, and neither ate or drank” Acts 9:9. Paul’s sight was restored by Ananias who laid his hands on Saul and said “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road by which you were coming, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”Acts 9:17b-17c. When Ananias did this immediately Saul’s sight was restored and he was baptized. Saul amazed people with is 180 turn around and rightfully so, because Saul had persecuted believers not three days before. Saul stayed three years in Damascus till his life was threatened by Jews, who were still confounded by Saul’s about face, and he had to seek refuge in Jerusalem, and then he was eventually sent to Tarsus because Saul kept stirring the Pot when it came to the Jews. We know that Saul, went on to become Paul and Paul did a great many works and deeds for the new church, covenant and his zealotry for the word, truth, faith and all things godly helped plant the churches foundation in the first century as strong as it did.

Why did I choose Paul when there were more stalwart and righteous men to choose from?  I chose Paul because we mirror Paul. We are zealotrous for; Truffle Oils, Ipods/Ipads/Iwhatchamacallits, Gucci, Prada, Audi, money, fame, adrenaline and we make fun of and/or persecute those of us who cannot/do not/ will not join us in our frivolous addictions. One important thing I’d like to point out is this… when a person becomes a new believer the one thing we should be zealous for we work to subdue, and that is our faith. Young believers should be zealous for the Word, they should jump to defend it, crave to know it better and faster 1 John 2:13-14. As we progress we should grow wiser and stronger in our knowledge of the Word, and while we should never lose our zeal we should exhibit a more dignified enthusiasm. We should grow in our faith, not stay loose cannons, we should want to be able to civilly make our points and know that GOD has it under control. CEASE STRIVING AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD, how refreshing.

The fourth point, we often have a hard time grasping is the fact the God is like a dad. He loves us, He provides for us, He is there 24/7/365 anytime, anywhere, any way. Abba, Father! Jesus called him Daddy on the cross! What?! Yes, yes He did. Jesus called God, Daddy, because He was the son of God? No, he called God Abba because that is the kind of relationship Jesus had with God, and that is also the kind of relationship He wants with us! Now I feel like I’m really rocking some peoples worlds and that is perfectly fine, because it’s true. God wants us to come to him for every stinking detail of our lives, good, and bad, ugly, annoying. He wants every part of it; He also wants us to live forever, to be clean, and believers in Him and Jesus Christ His son. Now that’s a pretty sweet deal, we have a God who wants to give us all these things if we would just know Him, especially as our daddy.

Fifth on the list, Gods love is everlasting. God’s love doesn’t have an expiration date, it never goes bad and it is always available. And if you think you can just return the love after you’ve accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior and that you can just walk back out the door to the life you lived before because being a Christian just isn’t cool, or it’s too hard, or whatever you decide Christianity isn’t for you… Buddy you have another thing coming. God is going to pursue you to the ends of the earth looking for you. Just like the parable of the lost sheep… God’s going to bring you back to the flock where you’re safe and secure from harm He’s going to be your comfort, and your guidance. God is going to lead you places you never thought you could go by yourself… and your right you can’t do it by yourself you need God. It’s all part of being your daddy Philippians 1:6.

Finally Knowing God is Just is a part of knowing God.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God". Romans 8:18-21. 

All of these previous points help us understand how God cares for us, what kind of a relationship he wants with us and this point shows us that while we suffer here on this earth, His kingdom is forever. His time is prefect, and when we allow for Him to work in our lives, they get a lot easier. And when the testing of our hearts comes, we shall be rewarded justly for their contents.  God was just with Job, just as he was just with Paul, Samson, Jezebel, the Israelites, Kings David and Solomon, Aaron, Ruth, Abraham and Isaac and everyone else. God is just, He is the ultimate judge and Jesus is our intercessor.

There are many more aspects to knowing God, but these are six huge parts of knowing Him. I will periodically post more elements of knowing God. But for the mean time, ponder these thoughts which have been written so that we might all benefit more from knowing Abba a little better. CEASE STRIVING and KNOW that I am GOD!

In the words of Paul, “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 1:3

Our Alabaster Boxes

The Alabaster Box
Luke 7:36-50
A Woman Anoints Jesus’ Feet
 36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind Him at His feet weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
The Parable of the Two Debtors
40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”“Tell me, teacher,” he said.41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
This story has many lessons. The first and most obvious is: do not assume that God doesn’t know your sins. Secondly, God forgives us as we repent and ask forgiveness for the acts committed against him. He loves us and wants us to know his love. When the Pharisee chose to point out that the woman who had thrown herself completely into washing and anointing Jesus’ feet was a prostitute and was, in his mind, not worthy of the honor, Jesus, knowing Simon’s mind, said that the woman’s faith was what saved her. In the parable verses 41-43 of Luke 7, we see a forgiveness that was unconditional.  This means that neither of the men had to accomplish a task in order to receive forgiveness of the debt (sin), out of this unconditional forgiveness comes love.  The woman had faith in Jesus, therefore she came to anoint his feet; and she did him the greatest honor and received forgiveness for her sins. As a result of her forgiveness, she loved much through her faith.
The woman in this story should be an inspiration to us all, especially now when our society has become a “Me” society.  She came before her Lord, and gave her most important and valuable possession to glorify and honor Him. From an early age we are taught that we should work towards self improvement by acquiring the best of everything: educations, jobs, homes, reputations, children, pets, food, etc. We are not taught to give freely and openly. Most of all we are not taught to give sacrificially.
Sacrificial giving is something that is hard to do. It requires that we retire our “Me” mentality and think on the needs of others. It means softening our hearts and making ourselves available to give more than just a twenty on Sunday morning. Now you’re probably questioning why anointing Jesus’ feet with oil from an alabaster box and washing his feet with your tears is sacrificial, and I can answer that. In the time of Jesus—and even now—Alabaster was a very rare and fine item to possess. It signified your ability to afford luxury items. Secondly, the oils would have equaled about a year’s salary for the woman. Considering the fact that the box was most likely a gift and the oil would have been her bartering tool for her daily needs (and it was all that she had), when she brought them to the feet of Jesus to bring to him the highest honor, she gave sacrificially to do so.
I have thought a lot about this and how it pertains to our walk as Christians, and I have come to realize that we all have an alabaster box within ourselves and it contains the most precious thing God has given us…our spirits. We are told in Revelation that we will cast our Crowns before Him, and we will all be rewarded for what is in our hearts. If that is the case, wouldn't we want our hearts, our alabaster boxes, to be filled with the sweetest and most fragrantly pleasing oils? Despite the forgiveness we have received for our sins, shouldn't we want to live a life that is “a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness? 4 [Which] through these He has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” 2 Peter 1:3-4.
Because we should want these things, and to perpetuate them through our daily lives, I continue with Second Peter 1:5-9, BECAUSE, Honestly Peter nails the reason to the floor.
5 “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure; they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.”
He makes the point that all of these things starting with faith add up to love. And Love is what died on the cross for us in sacrifice so that we could be forgiven of our sins and Love more because our sins are great. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters”1 John 3:16. Sacrificial giving is a sign of love, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, and mutual affection. All of these things Christians exhibit, it’s all part of imitating Christ. Peter gives us assurance in verses 10-11 of his second letter. And assurance is a wonderful gift.
“10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:10-11.
We will receive a rich welcome, where we shall cast our crowns, anoint His feet, praise Him, and worship Him in unadulterated awe. Where our sins shall no longer torment us, and we shall celebrate with our Bridegroom the sacrifice He made for us so that we could enter into the eternal Kingdom of Heaven with those of us who share the same faith.